You’ve heard of the old saying, “what goes up… must come down,” right? Well, with sexual desire, it’s no different.

The fact is that you will have “ebb and flows” to your level of sexual desire, and so will your lover. The trick is to be able to extend the times “you are up,” and limit the times you are “down.”

Here are five secrets of doing just that:

1. Do the Dishes: Most researchers suggest that when women feel as though the chores are done — this allows their mind “the space” to think about sex. It also gives them a sense of “well-being” — as if things are being taken care of. And women love being taken care of. Wash the dishes, take out the trash, and clean the toilet. Do these mundane chores without her asking and you just carried a part of load off your lady’s back.

1. Date Her: Establish a time and place to go on a date and work your way up to that date throughout the week. We know, you’re both busy, you both got responsibilities and obligations, and most likely if you’re like the rest of Americans, you are very close to burning-out. So whether you have been married for ten years or dating for eight months, set up that old-fashioned time and place and prepare for it. For example, let’s say you set up a date for this Saturday evening. Start texting her on Tuesday and tell her how beautiful she is and that you can’t wait for your time together. Leave her notes — in the bathroom or on her desk telling her that you’re excited to make love to her Saturday night. The sense of anticipation is completely seductive and will generate many rewards for you.
2. Exercise together: You could play tennis, go swimming, jogging, or play volleyball. All the research suggests that active women have greater sexual function and experience greater sexual pleasure than women who don’t exercise. Make it a weekly date — and watch her temperature rise in bed!
3. Be Touchy-Feely. Whether you live in tiny studio apartment together or a five bedroom ranch house, be close to her — and touch her while you are passing each other. If she is already cares for you, non-sexual touching is critical during the day and increases further sentiments of closeness and intimacy. Touching and stroking in a non-sexual way — even if slightly — heightens the pleasure when sex actually does occur.
4. Tell her she is beautiful — every day. When she wakes up, when she is putting her make up on, when she is feeding the kids, doing the laundry, or reading on the sofa. Tell her she is beautiful and that you find her very sexy. Women have lots of issues with their body. Much research finds that body dissatisfaction, decreases a woman’s sex life. A simple word, a gesture, a touch, a note, and telling her that she is beautiful, can really turn her sexuality around in no time!

Sexual desire, especially great sexual desire, always begins beyond the bed sheets. If you want to turn up the heat in bed, then you will have to do some relatively simple, yet essential, things outside the bedroom. Follow these points consistently and no doubt, you will begin turning up the fire!